I dare you–I outright defy you–to watch this video all the way through without singing Hello! Ma Baby. It can’t be done. Unless you are unable to stop vomiting all over your monitor and keyboard. But even then, you’ll still be singing it in your head while gurgling out the melody.
Because these are fresh frog legs, the cells inside them are all still intact. The biochemical machinery still functions. There is still a source of energy for the muscles in the form of unused ATP molecules stored in the cells. All that the muscles need is something to activate them and they can still contract and relax (until they run out of ATP or something else shuts down the biochemical machinery). Salt can do the same thing as electricity because salt contains sodium ions. Sodium (and potassium) ions are used in cells to create voltage differences. In a living frog, it is a nerve signal from the brain that tells the muscle to contract. In this case, it is the sodium in the salt.
It actually took me a moment to realize it wasn’t an advertisement. It is a PSA from a convenience store in Maryland. Someone geeky and sarcastic must have come up with this one. It is a good idea and should be implemented across the nation. For the record, it would be an excellent idea to be able to have sleep in a can. Could you imagine drinking a substance and feeling as though you woke up from a full night’s sleep? It would be awesome!
[Editor's Note: I've been drinking Sleep In A Can for decades. I call it beer.]
I was never really a fan of basketball, but I–just like everybody else–was a fan of Michael Jordan because when one experiences transcendent greatness, the medium is irrelevant. The same goes for douche bags. I’m not generally a fan of douche bags, but I am a fan of David Thorne. He takes simple and common douche baggery and elevates it to a fine form of art, worthy of appreciation by plebeians and scholars alike.
His latest contribution to making the world a more terrible place is no exception to my admiration.
Minor set-up to the scene: David Thorne is a graphic designer and this is an e-mail exchange between him and his secretary.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster
yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
It must be the weather. Thursday is the new Friday ’cause I guarantee ain’t nobody doin’ nothin’ productive tomorrow.
Some time back, I posted a video and made a bunch of smarmy comments about simplistic and rudimentary stop-motion animation polluting the Internet. Here is where I eat some crow, and then a dinosaur eats me.
from blu on Vimeo via Geekologie.com
I am so in love with this guy. Happy Friday… on a Thursday.
The Golden Girls, a.k.a. my mother and her sister, were determined to see the latest Twilight movie. My father, being a wise man, did not try to talk the women out of the trip and my mother, in her wisdom, did not expect my father to sit through hours of angst-ridden, teenage melodrama. This sort of tact and understanding is one of the bigger secrets to a succesful marriage of 36 years.
The ladies did, however, need a ride. I decided to join my father in taking the trip and then I killed a few hours while The Golden Girls swooned over teenage boys. This trip, for me, was a 13GNE rant bonanza. If I tried to write about it all at once, we would have a ten-page document that no one besides The Editor would read. Having read it, he would most likely “accidentally” click the Delete button (and then do it again on the Yes-I-Really-Want-To-Delete-It button).
Instead, we’ll make it a trilogy: Hardware, Software and Books.
[Editor's Note: I will totally delete Part II and not Parts I and III just so I can sit here and laugh and laugh and laugh...]
Continue reading the bodacious adventures of… Time To Kill, Part I: Hardware
It’s like Easter meets the 4th of July, the perfect combination of church and state.
Watching this has inspired me to create a band where I play the blender. I’ll need folks to play the saw, the cups, the hanging ladles, and the microwave. Auditions are next week. Prepare yourselves!
He’s the man your man could… also not know what a swan dive is… I guess. Happy Friday.
Me talking about Twitter at this point is like your grandmother calling you up to ask you to be her friend on Myspace. The hip folk smile and nod. They think I’m late to the game and about to tell them everything they already know. Well, the hip types would be wrong.
I was not late to the game. I tried to stay out entirely. I’ve been having Internet brain spunk (to use a Katzwinkel[tm] phrase) since I’ve had access to the Internet. I started with a crap modem and a printout of BBS names. I had Prodigy , Compuserve and I worked for a text based game on AOL just to get a free account because my money was being sucked away in hourly connection fees. I followed usenet news groups. Before blogs were passe, I was submitting rants to Katzwinkel’s old site. When blogs were all the rage, I had Shockingly Provincial and I burned out just about every creative juice I had trying to keep up a constant flow of brain spunk.
When Twitter came I said, “No, thank you, I pass. I need more than 140 characters to express myself.” It seemed to me that we had arrived at a new low. It was like we were encouraging people to throw away language skills and wallow in text shorthand. I believe that in one of the 13 Guys Named Ed podcasts I was a guest and agreeing with the hosts that Twitter was and is nothing we want a part of.
Then Craig Ferguson went and got a Twitter account.
I am a big fan of Craig Ferguson. Every time he comes near Chicago to do stand up, I buy a ticket. I’ve read his novel and his memoir. As much as I avoid watching television I will sit down and watch him any time I see him on. I think it was this monologue that pretty much sealed it for me. He is smart funny and compassionate in way that you just do not see in any of the other late night shows. When he announced that he was @CraigyFerg on Twitter there was no debate, I had to make an account just to follow him.
That Scottish mad genius sucked me in!
For the longest time, I just checked Twitter to see what he or my brother had to say. Then I found out that the adult film industry had embraced Twitter in much the same way as they leap on every other new media, so then I added a few of my favorite actresses just for the shock value. If I came down with a sudden case of girlfriend (just a hypothetical, for discussion purposes) I would not have a problem removing the almost every single one of them as all they seem to do with their feed is say “Join My Site” about ten times a day. I would keep @MissAuroraSnow. No question. She has by far one of the smarted most interesting uses of Twitter that I’ve seen. There are links to news articles that she’s reading and literary quotes pertaining to the events of the day.
So that was it. I was just checking Twitter once or twice a day to see if there was anything funny or newsworthy to read. I wasn’t an addict by any stretch, just mildly interested.
Then I went to W00tstock. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Nerds were talking about important nerdy things and I wasn’t able to participate because I do not have a data package on my phone. I’ve never wanted a data package on my phone before. I always felt that if I need to check my email or to look at Facebook, I had a perfectly serviceable desktop computer for at home and a laptop for those rare occasions when I am out of the house. Yet, there I was, green with envy.
I went home. I joined the conversation and I haven’t stopped.
[Editor's Note: Follow Rich Rosenthal's tweets at http://twitter.com/Uklamok]
Image courtesy of Twitterrhea.WordPress.com
