For the Web Designer Who Hates Everyone

Here’s a JavaScript library that’s certain to destroy any site’s popularity. Pestilence is a “collection of JavaScript utilities to ruin someone’s day, regardless of ability…or disability.”

When added to a webpage, it will:

• Play a high-pitched noise at random intervals.
• Replace the user’s cursor with a duplicate that is offset approximately fifty pixels down and to the right.
• Randomly moves the caret as the user types within input fields.
• Hides all headers and paragraph elements from screen readers and gives random tab indices to anchor elements.

13GNE hereby vows to never use this library on a client’s site. Unless, maybe, if they don’t pay their bill.